Brouillon

I recently came across a funny looking time machine.

One of my old music playlists.

..

I’m so sorry, that was very corny. 

You know I can see you rolling your eyes, right? 

Give me a second to explain myself.

Or rather, why don’t you explain something to me?

How is it that, after opening said playlist and the first song started playing, I felt the hairs of my body standing up ?

And why is it that at the same moment, I had flashes of memories I didn’t even know I had ?

I saw myself clearly, on a late summer night, sitting on top of the refrigerator next to the kitchen window (it was the only way to catch glimpses of the neighbor’s wi-fi. I tried everything, believe me).

It was like a snapshot from a previous life. An out of body experience if you will, where I’m looking at this kid smiling like an idiot. He is listening to something and texting someone.

Next thing I knew, he looked a tiny bit older now. He had hints of what would become his first moustache (he was very proud of that). It’s late at night. He is sitting on the rooftop with a computer on his lap. It’s a clear, starry night with a gentle breeze caressing his face. His computer, or rather the computer he had sneaked away from his brother, was playing light music, and the boy’s face was one of complete inner peace. He told himself he would never forget this moment. 

The next song played, and there he was again, speeding down a slope on his bicycle with music blasting  through his ears. It was a cloudy day, with timid raindrops. It didn’t even occur to him that the wet ground and an old bicycle with deflated tires made for a poor combination. He was fearless like that. Besides, he was busy trying not to let out a happy scream. He was worried that the people around him would make fun of him for it.

And one by one, dozens of random memories resurrected right before of your eyes. Speedrunning a 300 page book in one afternoon to impress the crush that lent it to you, a frustrated teenager playing Linkin Park at full volume after he had a bad day at school, an angry kid promising he would become a doctor for the sole purpose of saving the palestinians after watching a sad Youtube video..

And the moments keep flashing one after the other, until the playlist ends and you find yourself sitting on an uncomfortable chair in a cubicle. There is an open Excel spreadsheet in front of you. You look at it with disgust, and you wonder what the fuck happened to that kid.

And then a coworker comes by, asking you to explain the email you sent him the month before.

And just like that, the moment is gone.

On your commute home, you have a nagging feeling on the back of your head. You feel very uncomfortable for some reason.

You can’t seem to figure out why that is.

You open your phone, watch a couple of random videos on your feed, and there. The feeling is gone.

You’re all good now.