Confused atoms

“Would you care to have some tea before you leave, young man?" "Uh… yeah for sure Mr. Edwards. Let me just grab a couple of cups.” I replied absentmindly as I picked up my coat and got ready to leave. The old man nodded, satisfied, then closed his eyes and started snoring. It was difficult to look at this tired, frail husk of a man and imagine him as anybody else. You could call it folly of youth if you’d like, but for me, Mr. Edwards was Mr. Edwards. The fact that he had once been my age was unfathomable. I huddled inside my coat as I grabbed my keys, making sure I left everything in order for my relief. I spared one last look at Mr. Edwards. Old men usually looked like old men, which made it difficult for me to estimate his age. But, he hardly ever left that sofa he was lying on nowadays. He was thin, tired, and very fragile. His hearing was catastrophic, he could only see from one eye, and he couldn’t even walk without help. Of course, his body wasn’t the only ...

Part 1 --   Part 2--  Part 3--   - “Hell no. You can do that on your own time. I’m not going to be responsible for ruining your innocence. - That’s kind of rude. - Well, I never pretended to be nice, did I?” She smirked at me as she pulled another puff from her joint. The streets were empty, and the snow had quieted down. We walked around aimlessly until we found a couple of benches. She sat down as mist escaped from her lips, her long hair falling in cascades around her face as she settled. I relaxed into the bench next to hers. - “Really. It’s hard to explain. I don’t even know if I can articulate it.” She muttered - “Oh come on. You’re just making me more curious at this point." - "Fuck.” She pondered for a minute, completely ignoring me as she collected her thoughts. - “Okay. So I … Hmm.” I chuckled. She was fidgeting with her hair, probably trying to put into words an intimate feeling that wasn’t meant to be expressed that way. Still, she tried: ...

Part 1 --   Part 2-- Am I boring you? Do you regret coming here with me? Do I smell weird? I’ve been outside the whole day; I must smell weird. You keep glancing at your phone. Do you have somewhere to be? Am I keeping you? I’m sorry. I wish I were more interesting. Anxiety was a strange beast. Even back then, when I remembered myself as a “better version” of whatever it is I am today, She never left my side. She has been an eternal companion throughout my life. Sometimes She’ d be quiet, watching timidly from the shadows, but more often than not, She was loud, relentless , and horribly oppressive. More importantly, there was no getting rid of Her.  She was a part of me. I cleared my throat and forced myself to speak, nursing the hot coffee between my hands: -"So, uh, what do you do for a living?" She glanced up from her phone with a little grin, and stared at me with those eyes. Time halted for a split second, and even She stopped talking, probably just a...

Part 1 -- Nothing is permanent. That is an  immutable  fact about the universe. Entropy will continue to creep forward. Mountains will collapse, stars will die, and the worst day of your life will eventually come to an end. So too, will the best day of your life. --- I found myself sitting under the stars, dazed, a look of blank wonder in my eyes. The music was still ringing in my ears, despite the concert having ended a couple of hours earlier. The cold crept up under my jacket, and tiny snowflakes settled on my hair and arms. I had been a child the last time I’d seen snow. Magnificent was the term that came to mind. I felt the wet grass beneath my feet, and the wind playfully ruffling my hair . There was nowhere else in the universe I would’ve rather been. Most of the crowd had dispersed by then, with only a few groups remaining here and there. I didn’t want the moment to end, so I stayed, trying to prolong it, as if attempting to defy entropy itself. Maybe i...

  Part 4 : Mourad Ah, it’s no use. Mourad got up from his desk, trying to stretch his sore legs. He had been working on the report for the whole morning, and so far his efforts had yielded a modest paragraph of three sentences. He glanced at the empty desk next to him, wondering not for the first time when Amina would be coming back. He had been surprised by how badly she had taken the news of Allal’s death. She never really struck him as the emotional type, and yet, he had rarely seen a human being turn as pale as she had. Like she was seeing ghosts. -- The company had generously offered free counselling sessions and a couple of paid time-off days for anyone “distraught” by the incident. Mourad thought really hard about it, then decided he wasn’t particularly affected by the whole thing. Sure, he had known Allal for years, and the thought of never seeing him again was a little uncomfortable, but he didn’t feel the grief the others around him seemed to be consumed w...

Please excuse the dramatic title. I needed to grab your attention. Something is going on with me and I could use some help. Really. I graduated college in 2018. They say they’re supposed to be the best years of your life. For me, it was alright. I wasn’t popular or anything, but I had my little group of friends. Something about experiencing the horrors of studying thermodynamics made us stick together, if only for a little bit. I was more worried about what came next. The 9 to 5 monster would come for me as soon as I had my diploma in my hands, and it would claim me for the next forty years of my life. And so, I tried to enjoy college as much as I could, understanding it was just a brief interlude to the cosmic horror awaiting me. Graduating was a little anticlimactic. An impersonal letter congratulating me for not failing my classes, followed shortly by a piece of paper that made me eligible for employment. My parents were quite pleased by this whole ordeal. They weren’t as plea...